One of the most important parenting choices I feel I have made is to not employ the cry it out technique. There are a few different reasons people choose this but I am making if for this reason…As an adult I would not want to be left alone for even minutes crying as hard as I’m able if I knew there was something in the next room who could come in and instantly make me feel better. So, I never wanted to do that to my infant, a helpless little being who is 100% dependent. So, my heart could not be any more broken then it has been the times I’ve left my daughter to let her cry. It has only happened a few times in her four months of life. Fewer times than I have fingers on my right hand. But I still feel like I have failed her, every single time. I especially feel all the guilt and shame .1 second after she stops crying because I’m able to see clearly/past the overwhelmed version of me, how absolutely perfect she is and how she is the best thing I have ever made.
So, it was a really nice kick in the rear when I saw this quote shared on my facebook page today.
I’m fairly obsessed with making sure my daughter, and all future children, have a secure attachment style, because that is not what I have. And I think learning the attachment style one has starts the minute babies join us earthside. Now, I’m not sharing this to force my idea of parenting on anybody else. Lord knows, parenting is hard and every parent makes the choices that work best for their family. I’m sharing this because I knew I had to the minute I saw this quote. Writing out the parenting choices I am making reaffirms that I am making them for myself and not for anybody else.Sometimes I doubt that I am making the right decisions or I am making decisions in fear that if I don’t do things ‘this way’ others will judge me.But, at the end of the day, it’s me, my husband, and my baby in our room falling asleep together. We are the ones who have to live with our decisions.