April 18th, 2017

On the way home from Tulsa David asked me what I was thinking. I must have gotten too quiet. I was deep in thought, but I answered truthfully. “Do you think Eve had miscarriages? I mean, miscarriages are a result of a lost and broken world is what I’m told. So, did she not have any until after the fall. So, if Satan hadn’t slithered his way into the Garden and convinced her it was ok to eat the forbidden fruit would women, today, not know this loss? If Eve had just followed the ONE RULE God had commanded of her would my babies still be growing in me? Would everyone who has lost babies to miscarriage have that many more living children?

Psalm 127:3- says that Children are a heritage from the Lord, offspring a reward from him.”

Genesis 9:1 and 7 both speak of God telling Noah to be fruitful and multiply the earth. “Then God blessed Noah and his sons, saying to them, ‘Be fruitful and increase in number and fill the earth.” :As for you, be fruitful and increase in number; multiply on the earth and increase upon it. 

Do these Scriptures not say that all children are absolutely precious in the eyes of the Lord? If He wants us to give them to us and then take it away….or worse yet, not give them to us at all? Is this a punishment? Does the bible not also say, ” Take delight in the Lord, and he will give you the desires of your heart?” in Psalms 37:4? I desired these babies and wanted them so badly. So many women, much stronger in their faith than me, desired the children they lost.

But, it never says anywhere in the Bible that we will not face hardships. In fact, it says the opposite. Acts 14:22-“We must go through many hardships to enter the kingdom of God.”

And in John 16:33, “I have told you these things, so that in me you have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcomes the world.”

Jesus has overcome the world! He has suffered the same as us so he can comfort us when we have our troubles. That’s always been a hard concept for me to grasp. I view Him, rightly so, on the highest pedestal. But I also must remember, as my sister-in-law has frequently reminded me, that Jesus lived as a man. He was crucified for us. What an amazing love!

Such a perfect example of this is Job. He lost his wife, all of his children, and his livelihood. And what did Job say? “Naked I came from my mother’s womb; and naked I will depart. the Lord gave and the Lord has taken away; may the name of the lord be praised.” “In all this, Job did not sin by charging God with wrongdoing.” Job 1:21-22. What an amazing example of trusting God and His will. Since April 6th I have really been seeking God and digging into His word. Oh, to have a heart like Job.

-confessions of a miscarriage mama-