I want to share one more thing before I share part two. I promise this time. A Miscarriage Story Part 2 will be shared tomorrow!
Today, somebody reached out to me, and it really refreshed my heart. It was so encouraging, It made me feel like I’m doing something good in writing this. I told someone a few weeks ago that all a writer wants is their writings to make just one person feel something. And, obviously, I’m writing for me…but I really do want to help someone. Even just one woman who i feeling pain or alone, or just struggling.
So she messaged me today, sharing some of her story. How the doctors were really terrible with her, how she feels guilt, and how she hasn’t told anyone even though it happened some time ago. When I read that I just cried. It really broke my heart for her for three reasons.
- Doctors really can be horrible. Uncaring. I just can’t believe how awful the doctors were with her. Miscarriage is just such a heartbreaking experience for a mother. They need to learn to be a little more kind and compassionate.
- Guilt and shame are so terrible to live with. Especially for a long time. Miscarriage brings such guilt. Even if you know you couldn’t have done anything different. There will be guilt over drinking coffee…not drinking enough water….a surprise pregnancy and then a miscarriage and the list goes on.
- Miscarriage is not something talked about. It’s such a taboo topic, for whatever reason. Whether you don’t believe the baby is a little life, if you think, ‘oh it’s so common,’ if you think, ‘oh it was so early…’ No matter what your reason it’s just not talked about. And we shared the same sentiment that we wish we would have been given some warnings or expectations about what MIGHT happen. Not what definitely will happen because that is unique to each woman. But some possible symptoms.
I have to speak out about this. It deserves to be talked about. I am hurting and suffering. My babies were BABIES. They were not a clump of cells. That way of thinking makes me so angry. Em and Judah deserve to be talked about. They had souls. They are in Heaven. We will remember them. We love them. We miss them. While this is something we will get through, it is not something we will get over. We will never get over the loss of our babies. Those are the wise words of my husband.
I don’t want any woman to suffer in silence. That’s a huge reason I’m talking about this.
-confessions of a miscarriage mama-